The following are excerpts from some of the daily activities from "The KSC Switchboard" and other related stories. And please make sure to check out the parking Top Ten excuses to appeal a parking ticket!

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From the Switchboard

I just received a phone call on the switchboard from this woman that went something like this:

Dispatch: Keene State College
Caller: Um, yes, can you tell me where you're located?
Dispatch: What do you mean located? Building? Street?
Caller: No, I'm calling from British Columbia, what area code is 603?
Dispatch: New Hampshire...
Caller: Um, New Hampshire, well then, can you tell me the time of my birth?
Dispatch: What? What do you want to know?
Caller: I was told that you had it on file there.
Dispatch: You've reached Keene State College in Keene, NH. I'm afraid I don't have that information.
Caller: Hummm, that's what "they" told me, was that you had a record of it.
Dispatch: I'm sorry, but I can't help you.
Caller: Well perhaps I called the wrong place. Thank you - and hangs up.

Keep in mind that I have no idea who "they" are......

     We have a very versatile, and quite complicated 
telephone system (Meridian) on the Campus.  Also, 
EVERY student has his/her own phone in their dorm rooms 
and so does almost every staff member and EVERY staff 
member has voice mail - which in itself is pretty 
     A staff member called in to the switchboard to 
ask how to change something on their voice mail 
This requires them to "log-in" to their voice mail 
and enter a couple codes and "Bridget Digit" will walk 
them through the instructions. (Bridget Digit is the 
name we've given the female computer voice for the 
     Anyway, the Dispatcher doesn't have the exact 
instructions handy so we instruct the Staff member to 
enter 7* or 8* for the help messages and they will give 
you the commands needed.
The staff member thanks us and hangs up.
A couple minutes later, this same Staff member calls 
back still wondering how to change the greeting message.
The Dispatcher says "Didn't I just talk to you a few 
                     minutes ago"?
Staff member:  Yes, but every time I tried 7* or 8*, 
               it kept saying that my number couldn't 
               be completed as dialed.
Dispatcher:    Well, you've got to log-in to your 
               voice mail first...
Staff:         Giggles, says something like, "oh yeah," 
               and hangs up.

     The Campus Safety Comm Center has moved across 
the street from Elliot Hall to Grafton House - The 
former Parking Office location.
     Consequently, because the entire Campus has always 
come to Grafton for parking issues, they still do, plus, 
the College still sends out paperwork "telling" people 
to come to Grafton.  Anyway, This person comes to 
Grafton for a parking decal.  I tell the person that 
the parking office has moved to it's new location,
86 Appleton St.
     (Also, I should mention that because we have so many
people still coming into Grafton for parking stuff, we've
taken a Campus Map and highlighted the locations, AND,
we've typed out directions, which are taped directly below
the map on how to get there, both if you're walking OR
     The sign says:
DRIVING: To get to 86 APPLETON ST (Parking Office)
Go back out onto MAIN ST and turn RIGHT.

Take the 2ND street on the RIGHT.
(From Wyman Way, past Bruder St onto APPLETON)
Go to the LAST BUILDING on the street.

     Okay, getting back to the story, this person looks
at the map that I've pointed to, reads the directions
and then asks me what the name of the 2nd street is
that 86 Appleton St is located on........

A person calls from off campus to the main switchboard 
looking for an off campus number.  We don't usually 
have those listed for our off campus students.....
Dispatch:  Keene State College
Caller:    Can I have the number for such and such?
Dispatch:  We don't have a listing for that, are they
           on campus?
Caller:    No, but I don't have the number.
Dispatch:  The number for off campus directory assistance
           is 555-1212
Caller:    Well, he doesn't have a phone.......

The College has E911 at the main switchboard.  
That way when an emergency call is placed from any phone 
on campus to the off campus emergency services, we can 
tell immediately where the call is originating and start 
help in that direction if we are unable to make voice 
This is a true story...

One of our "students" called 9-1-1 and hung up, but this
was enough for our system to trigger on the call.
The dispatcher called the number back and a male answered.
The dispatcher asked if there was some kind of problem 
because he had just come into the 9-1-1 system.  
The reply was something like, "yeah, what's the 
non-emergency phone number for the police department"?
Bear in mind, that he called an emergency number to ask 
for a non-emergency number......

Caller:  I need to find my friends phone number?
Switchboard:  Okay........
Caller:  Do I need to tell you her name? 
Switchboard:  It'll help. 
Caller:  Oh -- Sorry,  giggle giggle 

Walkin:  This person walks up to the Dispatch Window and 
inquires if we (Campus Safety) can access him into one 
of the rooms in the basement of a building.  (This room 
has a combo lock on the door)
Dispatch:  Are you on an access list?
Walkin: No, but you can call my boss and he'll say 
it's okay.
Dispatch:  Ummm, they need to either come over here with 
you, or send a valid access list.
Walkin:  Okay, I'll have them get one right over to you.
Dispatch:  Okay. 
Walkin:  A few minutes later, this person shows up again.
We have the list now, and have spoken to the head of the 
room that access is requested.  
Dispatch:  Go ahead down to the room, and I'll have an 
Officer respond to let you in. 
Walkin:  That's okay, I've got the combination......
(Had it all along)!!!!

A caller from "On Campus" calls the desk......
Dispatch:  Operator...
Caller:    I've got a question for you.
Dispatch:  Shoot.....
Caller:    Is the Gym on Campus a permanent structure?
Dispatch:  The Spaulding Gym?
Caller:    Yes, the one with the pool and the basketball 
courts.... pause....Is that temporary?

This delivery person walks up to the Dispatch Window 
and asks where so and so is in Room 256.  Keep in mind 
that Dispatch is located on the 1st floor and this 
person just walked by a staircase leading up there to 
get to the Dispatch Window.....
Dispatch's answer?  I'm not sure, try the 2nd 
floor - Room 256 Maybe.
At which the person say thanks and off they go....

And another thing.......
We at Dispatch handle a HUGE amount of people calling 
wanting actual road directions to Keene State.  Not 
the Street address, but where we are and how to get to 
Keene.  They want us to provide them over the phone 
with actual roads, highways and routes from Boston, 
Connecticut, New York, but the winner of this category 
has got to go to the person that wanted directions 
from OHIO!
GET A MAP!!!!!
Along these same lines, We had a person call wanting 
directions from the Greater Boston area to the College.
She started arguing about where WE are located.
We are located in the SouthWest portion of the State.
THERE ARE NO Interstate Highways near us!  The closest
one is I91 in Vermont.

Dispatch:  No problem, and proceeds with the directions..
           route numbers, exits etc....
Caller:    Hummmm, that doesn't sound right.
Dispatch:  Those are the correct directions.
Caller:    I'd have to argue with you on that...Cause
           you're on 93. (Interstate 93)
Dispatch:  No, we're about 60 miles from 93.
Caller:    Oh, no you're not, you're on 93, up near
           Northern New Hampshire.
Dispatch:  Okay.  B-bye.

We still have no idea if she's still wondering around 
up there.....

This girl calls the switchboard looking for a teacher's 
Caller:    Yeah, can I have the number for Dr. Noyes?  
           (But she pronounces it NO YES)
Dispatch:  The first name?  (Because we have more than one)
Caller:    She then tells us HER first name....

We're not sure if this happens all over the place or just here, but, most people calling on the phone seem to not know what "Please" and "Thank You" mean. It's always "I want", or "give me"......Geez, come on people, let's have some manners here!!! This page is very new.......Please keep checking in!!!!

Over the Radio

We were having a special event on Campus for Alumni Weekend. A couple staff members that don't usually have radios decided that they needed some. Staff member A calls the other on the radio and says... "If your radio isn't working, let me know".

From the Parking Office

The Parking Office is in charge of issuing all campus parking permits and decals for the College parking lots... Part of the information required when applying for a permit, is vehicle information, ie, License Plate, State, Make, Model, etc..... This girl comes in to get a temporary pass for a car she has for a couple days. She doesn't know her license plate, so she writes in for a plate number, ABC123. The Parking staff ask her if that really is her plate number. (It's possible, but...) She says without even hesitating, "no, but I know it's got letters and numbers in it"..... Another girl asks the Parking Office if she lives in Connecticut, and her car is registered there, would it have Connecticut plates on it? And the sad thing - she was serious!!! This person is in the Parking Office pleading their case on why they shouldn't have gotten a parking ticket for parking in a Fire Lane and blocking the rest of the road in one of the Campus Parking lots. While they're almost screaming at the people behind the counter, one of Campus Safety Officers asks this person if the car parked out in front of the building was theirs. The person says "yes" and is promptly advised to move it NOW! They had parked ON the sidewalk!

From the Staff

If anybody has a similar tale from KSC that they'd like included, give me all the details - when, where, who (no need to use names) and what happened or was said. I'll try and find an appropriate place to "stick" it. You can even E-Mail them to me.......

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